May we find all we need by linking arms together
“We have all known the long loneliness" (Dorothy Day)
This week on Mothering Spirit
Katie Cassady sings the praises of intergenerational friendships—and calls all of us to consider how we help create the communities we need:
“My peers are maxed out. My husband is gone all day. ‘You’re in the thick of it,’ I hear from well-meaning passersby at the grocery store while my headstrong one and a half year old walks ‘by self’ as I push the empty car cart intended to corral her. Opportunities for this introvert to see friends for any meaningful amount of time feel like they have been moved to the back burner in this season, alongside the opportunity to go anywhere without carting my whole gang with me. I am surrounded by people, yet I feel myself thirsting for connection…
While I anticipated finding my ‘village’ amongst women whose experience mirrored my own, what I most needed was relationships with women in a different place than mine; generally older. The retiree in my bee club, a writer friend, a friend’s mom, and a former colleague. To be clear, I am not staying out late with these women on a Saturday night. However, when I connect with them, they have something to offer that very few people in my life do: time. They are interested in me and my family and have wisdom to share, alongside time to absorb my worries or my joys, the ones that often don’t get mentioned in passing conversation on the sidelines at soccer practice, over a hurried dinner, or in the hallway at parent-teacher conferences.”
Read the whole essay here: The Privilege of Friendship.
Shannon Evans shares a prayer for life-giving friendships from her book Feminist Prayers for My Daughter:
At this and every stage of my daughter’s life,
bring her female friends who will be faithful and true.Protect their hearts from jealousy and insecurity,
betrayal and comparison.
May they lift one another up,
reveling in each other’s successes as though they were their own
(seeing that, in fact, they are).
Read the whole prayer here: For Supportive Female Friendships.
From our sponsors
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This Week’s Recommendation
Each Friday we feature more work from our writers. This week we shared an excerpt from Grieving Together: A Couple’s Journey through Miscarriage by Laura Kelly Fanucci and Franco David Fanucci, in honor of National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Day on October 15th.
“Miscarriage may be the most tragic or traumatic loss you have faced thus far. You might feel resentful or depressed; you may be struggling with your faith or in your marriage. You likely do not want to hear anyone else’s opinion on your situation or your grief. But you still have to interact with others and go about your daily life.
Well-meaning friends and family with deep faith and best intentions may urge you to trust God’s plan, offer it up, or remember that God is still good. While each of these truths may eventually help in your healing, you may not be ready to hear them where you are today. How can you handle unintentionally hurtful statements that people make while trying to offer comfort?”
Read the whole excerpt here: Supporting Yourself (Or A Friend) Through Miscarriage.
Be sure to grab your free mini-ebook of ways to support parents who have lost a child, and check out more prayers and resources on miscarriage here.
In Your Words
We know social media is a place where mothers of all ages and stages share from the heart about their joys and challenges. Each week we hope to bring you a glimpse into one mother’s life—in the hopes that her words might resonate with your own story.
This week’s post comes from
(@revlaurajohnson on Instagram):My 2nd-grader lost her cash-filled wallet about a year ago. Today she found it. Overjoyed, she bounded up the stairs to tell me the good news. We celebrated with a little happy dance and off she went, down the stairs again. She was already moving on with her day. I wasn‘t done with the moment.
“It’s like the parable about the woman who lost her coin!” I hollered down the stairs after her. “Remember that one? She searched and searched and turned her house upside down until she found it. Just like you!”
Crickets.
“That’s how we look for the Kingdom of God, you know!” I added, hoping my words would lodge somewhere in her subconscious and plant seeds for a vibrant Scriptural imagination.
I waited a minute to see if I’d get any response.
“Okay, Mom!” she hollered back, which every parent knows is polite kid code for, “Whatever, Mom!”
Sigh. It was worth a try.
Parenting with parables isn’t always easy. I wonder if Jesus ever got the same reaction from his audience. I wonder if they shook his hand after he preached and, with a perfunctory nod, said “Nice sermon” before heading home, which every pastor knows is a polite parishioner’s version of “Okay, Mom!”
And yet, Jesus kept preaching in parables. He kept using them as vehicles to train people to find the glory of God in the dreary ordinariness of life — in lost coins and garden weeds and batches of dough. Really, what more do I want to teach my children?
That’s why I’ll keep parenting with parables. Because maybe, one day, when life happens to them, my children’s minds will automatically wander to Biblical analogs and they’ll know how to spot God’s goodness around every twist and turn, in every loaf of bread, in every flower bed, in every wallet that once was lost and now is found.”
Want to share your words here? Tag @mothering.spirit in your post on social media & we’ll let you know if we’d like to feature it in a future Substack.
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