"Maybe it can help us become the mothers we want to be"

On anger & parenting: the hard parts & the holy parts

This week on Mothering Spirit

Janice Donahue shares a deeply relatable piece, starting from the title itself: Confessions of An Angry Mom.

“Sometimes I’m so overwhelmed I could weep. Some days I want to scream. Some days my emotions are just a quiet simmer, and some days they reverberate through me, all whizz and bang until they pop. I think about the words of Paul in Romans: ‘I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate.’ (Romans 7:15)

…If we can share our weaknesses with one another, if we can admit we’ve reacted in ways we aren’t proud of, maybe it will ease the tension, that boiling pressure of perfection. Because anger doesn’t make us bad mothers. It makes us human.”

Read the whole essay here. (Share with a friend who might need it, too.)

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This week on Instagram we asked what topics you’d love to read more about on Mothering Spirit this year. Here are some of the many responses we received. What would you add?

• Parenting through your own neurodivergence, disability, or chronic illness

• Dealing with racism as a parent

• Friendship & motherhood

• Discerning family size

• Single motherhood

• Grandparenting

• Parenting a child with disabilities or mental health struggles

• Navigating work & motherhood, starting with maternity leave

• Figuring out how to pray as a mom

• Divorce, step-parenting, raising blended families

• Mothering as a call to care for whole communities, not just your own kids

When you need a prayer

When we asked for prayers on anger & parenting, more of you responded than ever before. Clearly our writers have their fingers on the pulse of motherhood: the secret shame we share but rarely dare to speak, that maternal rage is real. But you aren’t alone. Over the next few months, we’ll have plenty of prayers to remind you.

This week, Emily Mingus shares a beautiful prayer for breathing through our anger:

“Listen to the beating of my heart,
listen to the undercurrent of the little voices needing my care,
just as I need Your care and grace…

Breathe in—What I am feeling is real, it is rooted within me.
Breathe out—Who You are is steadfast, You will take care of me.”

Read the rest here: A Prayer for A Mother's Anger.

And another prayer, for after you lose it: For the mornings we yell.

For remembering we’re humans raising humans,

for knowing if we teach our children nothing else, we’ll teach them how to bend down and open arms and say I’m sorry because we have to do it daily ourselves,

for the chance to keep screwing up because it means we keep going,

for forgiving ourselves,

and learning slowly how forgiveness takes the shape of a cross—pulled down in love, stretched out in embrace.

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For more essays on anger

Felt like that meme with the dog sipping coffee in the flames? Holly Forseth reflects on what her anger as a new mother taught her, looking back now from life with teens: It’s fine. Everything’s fine. (Except I lit the fire.)

On what happens after you lose your temper: I sing it for you.

“Over the last twelve years of parenting, I’ve come to recognize that the anger that encouraged me to set my infant on our bed and walk away from motherhood is the same anger that pulls me closer to my children when they are experiencing feelings of frustration, sadness, or discomfort.” (The Rising Fire Within by Jess Rozga-DeBoni)

Want to share your words with us?

We’ve been blown away by the response to our call for prayer submissions, and we can’t wait to see what you might share next! Here are a few themes for upcoming essays that we’d love to pair with a prayer from you:

• Parenting teens or young adults - due 3/20

• Struggles in marriage/partnership, including conflicts around work or child care - due 3/27

• Parenting through neurodivergence (your own or your child’s) - due 4/3

Original prayers are accepted (previously published on your social media, blog, or other personal site is fine). We’ll give you full credit/copyright and tag you on social media when we publish. You can respond here with your prayer(s) or send them to newsletter@motheringspirit.com.

If you like what you read at Mothering Spirit, we’d love if you’d share this Substack with a friend who needs encouragement in parenting—or a place to pray in the midst of busy days. Thank you for supporting our writers by sharing their work, following us on Instagram or Facebook, or supporting us on Patreon.

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